The notion that happiness is a choice rather than a result offers profound insights into human psychology and well-being. This philosophy suggests that our sense of joy stems not from external circumstances but from internal decisions and mindsets we cultivate.
Core Principles
Independence from External Validation
True happiness cannot be contingent upon external validation or specific outcomes. By detaching our joy from possessions, accolades, or even relationships, we free ourselves from the cycle of conditional happiness.
Happiness as an Inside Job
When we understand that happiness “comes from within,” we recognize that sustainable contentment requires cultivating a mindset that appreciates positives, practices gratitude, and maintains optimism despite challenges.
Active Participation in Joy
Viewing happiness as a choice demands our active participation. It involves deliberately identifying what brings us personal fulfillment and intentionally incorporating these elements into our daily lives.
Historical Examples of Choosing Happiness
Viktor Frankl in Auschwitz
During his imprisonment in Auschwitz, psychiatrist Viktor Frankl observed a remarkable pattern among fellow prisoners. While many fell into despair, others maintained resilience and purpose despite horrific circumstances.
One day, while carrying heavy stones alongside women prisoners, Frankl was astonished when one woman turned to him and said, “I’m so glad they didn’t take away my ability to think.” Despite unimaginable suffering, she had chosen to focus on what remained within her control—her thoughts—rather than surrender to external circumstances.
Frankl’s observations formed the foundation of his influential work on meaning and purpose as vital components of human resilience, illustrating that inner happiness can persist even in the darkest circumstances.
Sullivan Ballou’s Last Letter
A week before the Battle of Bull Run during the American Civil War, Confederate soldier Sullivan Ballou wrote his wife Sarah a letter that would later become famous for its emotional depth. Facing the likelihood of death, Ballou chose not despair but transcendent love.
He wrote: “But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights…always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dear; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.”
Even facing mortality, Ballou chose to focus on love rather than fear—a powerful demonstration of happiness as a choice regardless of circumstances.
Seneca’s Final Moments
The Stoic philosopher Seneca, falsely accused of conspiracy against Emperor Nero, was ordered to commit suicide. Rather than succumbing to bitterness or fear, Seneca approached his unjust fate with remarkable tranquility.
As friends and family gathered around him weeping, Seneca calmly stated: “Do not weep for me, my friends. I have lived a fulfilling life, and I am content with the choices I have made. My happiness does not depend on my current circumstances, but rather on the way I have chosen to live.”
Seneca’s final moments embodied his lifelong philosophical teachings—that happiness derives from virtue and inner peace rather than external conditions.
Emperor Hadrian’s Response to Loss
When Emperor Hadrian’s beloved companion Antinous died unexpectedly during their tour of Egypt, the emperor faced profound grief. Rather than allowing sorrow to consume him, Hadrian made a conscious choice to honor Antinous through celebration rather than endless mourning.
He commissioned cities, temples, and artwork celebrating Antinous throughout the empire—not as expressions of grief but as tributes to love and beauty. Through this deliberate choice, Hadrian transformed potential bitterness into creative purpose, demonstrating that even after devastating loss, one can choose to find meaning and joy.
Daily Affirmation
“Today, I choose to be happy. I acknowledge that my happiness is a result of my decisions and outlook, not my circumstances.”
Wisdom Through the Ages
The understanding that happiness is a choice has resonated across cultures and throughout history:
- “The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” – William James
- “Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that.” – Stacey Charter
- “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama
- “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius
- “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln