Breaking the Habit of Living for Approval
Paulo Coelho once said, “Stress, anxiety, and depression are caused when we are living to please others.” These words echo a painful truth many live every day—trapped in a cycle of trying to be enough in everyone else’s eyes while slowly losing themselves in the process.
From childhood, we’re taught to seek approval. We chase applause, praise, and acceptance, thinking they’ll validate our worth. We wear smiles that aren’t real. We pursue paths that aren’t ours. And in trying to meet every expectation, we silence our own needs. Over time, this disconnect leads to emotional exhaustion—stress from never measuring up, anxiety from fearing judgment, and depression from neglecting our true selves.
But there’s another way to live. One that begins with this powerful realization: Your value doesn’t come from others—it comes from within.
The Journey Back to Yourself
To heal, we must reclaim our lives from the grip of external validation. That starts with courage—the courage to be different, to set boundaries, and to say no when it costs our peace. It also means giving yourself permission to follow your own joy, even when others don’t understand it.
True fulfillment is born when you start honoring your voice over the noise. When you stop performing and start living. When you trade perfection for authenticity.
Surround yourself with people who see you—the real you—and not just the version of you that performs well or pleases them. Choose relationships that encourage your growth, not your silence.
Let Self-Compassion Lead the Way
One of the most powerful tools in this journey is self-compassion—learning to be gentle with yourself, to forgive your imperfections, and to silence your inner critic. Too often, we speak to ourselves with a harshness we’d never use on someone we love. But healing begins when we offer ourselves the same grace.
Self-compassion reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggles. Everyone falls short, everyone stumbles—and that’s okay. What matters is how we rise.
Being kind to yourself isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. It frees you to take risks, explore passions, and express your truest self without fear of failure or rejection.
In the end, self-compassion doesn’t mean settling—it means building a life rooted in love, not approval. And from that place of inner security, we can finally live—not for others—but as ourselves.
Words to Remember
“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” – Charles Bukowski
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“The greatest compliment you can give yourself is found in your compassion for others.” – Anon
Write Your Prayer